I sit at my window so large and bright, looking out at the night.

I see the stars.

I see the moon.

Its glow is giving a soft warm light.

Then…I see dark clouds moving north, across the sky.

They block the starlight from my eye.

I fear the rain is coming.

I fear a storm is brewing.

I see lightning flashes and hear thunder crash.

It’s sound is loud.

It’s rumble strong.

A storm is brewing.

It will not be long.

I sit at my window so large and bright, looking out at the night.

I no longer see the stars.

I no longer see the moon.

It’s glow no longer gives a soft warm light.

Now… I see dark clouds moving north across the sky.

They block the starlight from my eye.

Time passes.

The wind no longer whispers a soft song.

It has changed to a mournful cry.

The trees shimmer and shake.

The branches bend and break.

The leaves hold tight, tremble, quiver and quake.

The calm of the night is gone.

I look again at the clouds so dark, stirring from the south.

My heart beats fast.

I begin to fear.

Will the night be long?

Is daylight near?

Just then the wind became quiet, returns to sleep.

The rain begins to fall.

It’s sound is a murmur, soft and light.

Yes I think it will rain all night

Are you the artist?

She asked of me.

An artist who paints pictures for all to see.

An artist who can draw the shades of grey, the insipid clay,

who can draw the mountains high and children at play?

Who can paint wise old men and fields of rice,

babes in arms of women so nice?

Are you the artist?

She asked of me.

An artist who paints pictures for all to see.

An artist who can see the life in my eyes,

who can see all the blues in the sky?

Who can draw the line so straight and fine,

who can show the heat of red and the cool of blue,

Who can paint the love, I feel for you?

Are you my artist she asked of me

What words did she say? On that cold lonely day,

When to her I came that year.

The skies were gray and the cold wind had its way.

She held me close to her heart, without fear.

She was deep in my arms; I was enjoying her charms.

I could not believe it was happening to me.

This moment was mine; I floated on cloud nine.

My heart was filled with glee.

I remember we were deep in the park, Warm in Dad’s Buick Skylark.

When she pledged her eternal love supreme.

Now this day was special, without demands of committal.

I was sure it was just a dream.

I opened her coat and felt just past her moat.

And reached the place where men wanted to play.

I waited for resistance but she let me go the distance.

She did nothing to keep me at bay.

I knew if I stopped now, She might disallow.

Leaving my desires to freeze in the wind.

So I kept to the plan, over her body I ran

I could tell she was going to give in.

The two of us that night were soon out of sight.

The windows were filled with steam.

To a slow rhythm song we moved quickly along.

This was better than eating ice cream.

Buttons were ripped and soon I was stripped.

And committed to following through.

But my conscience awoke and the rhythm broke.

I paused, and thought of the Dad that I knew.

His advice in my mind, spoke to remind.

His voice deep in my brain did sound.

Be sure of your life with her as your wife.

Before you lay her down.

Now I thought of these words though the timing absurd.

I couldn’t get them out of my mind.

I looked at her longing face, her hand firmly in a place.

I thought she would never find.

My future loomed in my eyes; her body was so beautiful in size.

I gave in easily to accept my plight.

I move in close to her breast and gave it my best.

But somehow it never felt quite right

Our heavy breathing slowed and the good feelings flowed.

Amazed at how we had gone with such speed.

I was surprised at her agility and marveled at her ability.

In awe with the speed of her willingness and need.

I started slowly to dress and began to think in regrets

That I had deflowered an innocent girl.

But she grabbed my arm and turned on her charm.

And as she smiled her lips formed a curl.

She looked me firmly in the eye I was sure I would cry

When she smiled and asked with grin.

Will you still want me by you side? Now that I have nothing to hide.

And a part of you I now carry within?

Or will you turn your head and then treat me as dead.

Now that I have given all I had to thee?

I took time to contemplate, time to savor the bait

My answer was positive indeed.

We clung to each other closer than sister and brother.

Ensuring enough time had passed to confirm. 

I thought the love part was easy and for sure was not sleazy.

I knew I had lots of life yet to learn.

She offered me her flower filled with all of its power

Without hesitation or fear.

I wanted the moment to remember, this cold month of November

As I would forever call her, “My dear.”

We dressed in no hurry, but soon I started to worry

As she cast me once again in her spell.

She whispered words to me that night that really gave me a fright.

That’s when I knew I was going to hell.

She then leaned back on the door looking much like a whore

Using the voice from hell.

As her wings, she did spread, she looked at me and said,

“Come my dove, visit, one more time at the well.”

I still hear the words she did say on that cold lonely day.

When I came to her that year.

When the skies were gray and the cold wind had its way.

And she held me close to her heart without fear

Time is my enemy.

I cannot fight its polemy.

It weighs heavy on my shoulder.

And it will not accept any form of barter.

It does not let me put any of it in the bank for a rainy day.

Yet I do everything in my power to keep time at bay.

Time is expensive and surely it is not free.

It is a final, it comes and goes, of which there is no degree.

I cannot assign it to another occasion.

When the clock stops for me there will be no evasion.

It will take me where I do not want to go.

I will receive no reprieve, no stay, and no quarter from this formidable foe.

I cannot stop it and I cannot escape it.

I will be thrown into the timeless pit.

From the beginning, I run to the end, when.

To another world unknown, I will transcend.

I ask for more free time, let’s start at my birth.

I am at the end of my stretch and must now pass from this earth.

And be placed where men upon me will tread.

Where seed for green is spread.

Oh how I wish time would slow.

My life will surely end when there is no more time to flow.

I will be placed somewhere that I dread.

I will have no say in the matter for I will be dead.

Everyone it seemed had his way with her.

She had been passed around, treated like a toy found.

Each boy in turn promised love, and to be a true friend,

But once her body was given, romance came to an end.

Soon another, would step up to the plate

And promise his love, in return, for the key to her gate.

Pure lust it was that they wanted quenched.

Lying no more and no less, than to guarantee their success.

She was unable to see, the game they were playing,

Heard not the words, both shallow and betraying.

For her only wish was to be loved whole and true

But one after the other, they just bid her adieu.

She came to my life on one party evening

To the converted coop, the home of my peer group.

The gang was enjoying the sweet nectar of grape

They sang screaming so loud I needed a break.

So I slipped outside, looking to the heavens and stars

Thinking of the painter, was it van Gogh or Renoir?

I heard the leaves of the trees applauding the distant chorus,

When she stepped into the light, from the darkness of night.

Her face light up my view with a smile broad and warm,

And the dress she was wearing showed true her fine form.

I then noticed her eyes, such a deep emerald green,

And there was a hint of lilac scent, both sensuous and clean.

We walked for a while before silence brought us to the end.

She told me that she needed a friend as her heart was on the mend.

Her latest love cast her aside these last two nights;

He had already tired of her womanly delights.

There were tears on her face when the sad story was told,

Then she asked me again to stay, she needed someone to hold.<b

Moving close to my body her warmth touched me so.

I was kissed passionately on my lips, while her hands held my hips.

It wasn’t too long before in throws of desire,

Making mad and enjoyable love to the background choir.

My youth and experience to her, became clear as a bell

Our coupling was quick but she whispered, she’d not tell

She left me there as fast as she came.

I wanted to love her some more, but she’d had already gone through the door.

I followed her into the room of song

But it wasn’t long after I saw she was gone.

I couldn’t let this moment go by without words or thoughts

It tightened my insides, left me feeling distraught.

I was now a member of the circle that enjoyed her gifts

But I was unlike the rest of the gang, I suffered real pang.

Something inside my heart, told me that I was no more

The young man whom had stood, alone by the door.

I was now a man of the world, someone who knew about life

And I realized right then she would soon be my wife.

Now forty-three years have gone by ever so fast,

The girl who came to me that night has never been surpassed.

We married soon after, raised our family of four

In a house full of laughter, who could ask for more?

Yesterday I put her to rest with tears in my eyes

My heart heavy with grief, as I said my goodbyes.

My life with this girl was special for sure

All those years our love had truly endured.

That night when I looked at the moon and the stars

Thinking of artists van Gogh and Renoir.

She stepped into my life and stole my heart.

From that moment on we were never apart.

A battle gruesome

I fought this day

In a harsh rugged land, far away

Amidst the chaos

The contest grew quiet.

I lay down to rest and dream of home

Speaking with mom, kissing my bride

Walking with dad, washing my car

Cutting the grass beneath blue clear skies

Grilling some ribs, drinking cold beer

Laughing with family, dining with wine

Holding my child, visiting friends

Wearing clean clothes, a suit so fine.

But alas.

The conflict of battle, for me, is over

Dust and sand settles upon my face

The heat of the day grows cool in a way

The warm ochre walls turn a pale cold gray

The mountains give way to distant darkness

A tree reaches high towards the sky

Grasses bend and birds fly

My friends, towards me race

Telling me not to go

I smile at them and shake their hands

I close my eyes and thank them so

I found peace today, my body quiet

It floats on eight and flies by night

I am going home, others at my side

We will travel that highway

For all to wave

As we pass by

Arriving home to the pipes

Singing a lullaby

And biding farewell to all who cry

Yes

My battle of glory was fought this day

I died believing that I died for peace

I am not alone with this thought

I am sure.

Many others say it’s so

Many others say it’s so

For

Cpl Nicholas Raymond Beauchamp

And

Pte Michel Levesque

Les Héros du Canada

17 November 2008

I awoke this morning to a real surprise.

For when I looked in the mirror I was in disguise.

The face looking back was not the one of my youth.

It was the one of maturity, which I dressed with lies.

Only now the mask hid not that truth.

An old man was my reflection, my eyes red with sty.

Gone, the strength from the body that carried me through time.

My torso now bent and stooped, with a crooked spine.

My youth is gone to where I know not

The corpus left abandoned, my hands in a knot

It was time gone by I danced and sang and played the part

Now my pills of yesterday wait where I forgot

The blue for my blood, the red is for my heart.

And the purple one, I am sure, won’t do a lot.

The youth that I knew would live without and be just fine.

But I must now take them all to ensure a day benign.

Perhaps I will return to my room and go back to bed.

Where, on the soft pillow, I will lay my head.

I will dream of the days of wild and playful times.

To awaken in an hour or so and to the mirror I will tread.

Check my face to see if age has carved more lines.

I am sure I will find a face of youth, in my stead.

But alas I will be too tired to crawl out from my warm nest.

So I will stay a while longer and await eternal rest

Hope is in all our hearts to find eternal bliss.

We want to hold close a warm body to add to our fuel.

Enjoy intelligent conversation with a hug and a kiss

Along with bacon and eggs, toast, coffee, and our morning gruel.

Last night I opened my eyes and looked at the nape of your neck.

Followed the supple line of your spine.

And thought about our passion and our need for true love.

How we reached for each other with our torsos entwined.

I moved closer seeking the warmth of your body.

My knee nestled behind your thighs.

I became alive, my manhood erect.

I caressed your body with me eager eyes.

I came closer and rested my head against your back.

My belly felt the roundness of smooth.

I listened to your heartbeat a full sound of life.

As I thrust forward you began to move.

I closed my eyes and floated into your passion.

My body trembled and I bit the air.

My needs became my guide.

You held me close and said,”there, there”;

Then drifting back into the abyss of sleep.

I dreamt of you, my dear sweet precious jewel.

Not to mention our morning meal of bacon and eggs.

Toast and coffee and of course my bowl of gruel.

I sit here quietly looking out from within.

The air is soft, a whisper of wind.

A babbling brook is singing a song.

The gander and his wife, trooping along,

Wandering past my secret place, a place built strong.

A wild turkey stops in his tracks,

It looks at me, only to turn, and walk back,

To be replaced by the hens from the hay,

Who cackle and chatter, in a tongue so gay.

Unaware of the secret place where I lay.

The babbling brook, still singing without end.

It runs straight by and turns right at the bend.

Runs deep into the reeds and out of sight.

As the sun hides behind the mountains might.

And the day turns dark and marries the night.

I am still at rest, looking out from within

Terrance Frank Lazaroff, CD

China 2003

I walk in peace and run in war

Sleeping the night and working the day

Seeking places too far to see

Looking for paradise to play

Where I am going and what I am going to be

Is insignificant you see

I must still find out what is behind that door

Following the herd of men

I hope life will give the gift to me

That will allow me to rise

The see the clouds and to ride the tides

Reach beyond the reach, teetering on the edge

Taking what is too far to touch

Holding close what I have gained

Following my dream and holding my thought

I grasp tight to my carpet

As it takes flight

My destination far and away

I cannot see you clear

But there you are

I know it is

So I go forth without fear

Through wind and storm

And days on end

Looking for the gift special rare indeed

The few real joys far and true

The reward I seek is a treasure trove

 The gift is special much like the morning dew

The gift my dear, is you